Category Archives: Photography

Fun With Coffee

Vintage British motorcycle

Vintage British “Panther” motorcycle

After my first adventure with Caffenol film developer I loaded one of my twin lens reflexes with a roll of film, that was best before 2007, trusting that it would still be good 7 years out of date. Here are some of the results, and I can report that it worked quite well indeed. I much prefer medium format when it comes to film. Of course I always did, but it was so expensive that I ceased doing it around the time I bought this film. I scanned this at 1200 dpi and the resolution is amazing. I once read that even if the lenses on medium format cameras never approached the resolving power of the best 35mm cameras, they still could outperform them due to the huge advantage of the large negatives.

These pics were shot recently, one at a British car rally, and one on a trip to Port Angeles. They seemed to go together. Ricohflex TLR camera, Fuji ACROS Neopan ASA 100, developed in Caffenol C-M for 12 minutes. Scanned on an Epson 2400 with a homemade 120 format cardboard mask.

Vintage American gas station

Vintage American gas station

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Filed under Cameras, Photography, Technology, Travel

The Smell of Oil

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Bond’s Bentley resurfaces

Father’s Day Car Show

 

it seeps into the brain

slowly, like an oil leak

where it lubes the memory

Sunday the British gathered

the shiny SU carburetors

filled with slippery pink oil

the XKE was too hot (3 carbs)

the mini, too cool (1 carb)

but the MGB was just right (twin carbs)

when they all started their engines

and the field was bare

not a trace was left

but a few stains on the grass

some tire marks

and a lingering smell of oil

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Morgans in all flavours

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Jaguar – six cylinders, three carbs

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An original mini – single carb

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MGB – twins

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When a Bentley WAS a Bentley

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konica auto s2, ilford xp-2, caffenol-c-m, scanned at 2400 dpi

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Mixed Up

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From Russia, With Luck

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No kidding, this is a mint condition Olympia Progress, Russian. Unfortunately I don’t type Russian, nor do I speak it, or understand it. But I will sell it to the Russians for a tidy sum, since they are now wisely going back to typing classified documents. That is about the only good thing that can be said about Russia these days. Who would have thought that Russia is part of the typewriter insurgency!

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Photograph of Chief Russian Insurgent, purportedly typing a secret report. Picture taken with one of those “film” cameras and developed in coffee….

Hey Vlad, want to buy my typewriter? For you, hmmm, $1000, cash only please.

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What can this mean? A secret message? Cryptic!

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Heavily redacted secret message, obviously in code as well. Proof positive that they are using typewriters for their secret business!

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Filed under Photography, Poetry, Technology, Thrift shop finds, Typewriters, Uncategorized

No Sale Tonight

a steel plateapril 24 2014002

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There Are Limits

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Dog Psychology

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Ramsdale & Fairfax, Psychologists, read the sign on the fence.

“Come on Butch,” said the man to his pit bull, as they walked across the grass to the door that said Office. “Sit,” said the man to the dog, but the dog wasn’t paying attention. It pulled on the heavy leash, and the choker tightened on its throat. The man gave a vicious heave and pulled the big dog back. He clouted it with his hand on the back of its head. “Sit, I said,” he shouted sternly. The dog stood still. The man thumped on the door with his fist, even though there was a doorbell. He didn’t like doorbells; they were for sissies he thought. He enjoyed pounding on things with his fist anyhow.

The door opened to reveal a friendly petite woman with a head of curly blondish hair. She peered up at the man, who was well over a foot taller than her. Her first instinct was to slam the door and run for help, but she was a psychologist, so she quickly suppressed her gut reaction and assessed the situation.

“Come in,” she said. “You’re right on time. This must be Butch.”

“Yeah, this is Butch,” said the man. “He’s all fucked up, pardon my French.” He laughed at his joke. Dr. Ramsdale laughed too, although she didn’t find the remark funny. She just knew how to deal with people.

She led them into an inner room that was barren of furniture. The floor was shiny and slick grey linoleum, the walls painted glossy white. Along one wall was a slab of wood on steel brackets that served as the sole seating. In the corner was a short wooden stool.

“Please sit down,” Ramsdale said, pointing to the bench.

The man sat down, holding onto the dog. The dog looked around the room with a scared expression. This must be the torture chamber, thought the dog. The dog could read minds, and it knew that this was not a romper room. There were no chew toys, nothing to bite, and little distractions. The dog was well aware of what sensory deprivation was for. They want me to pay attention to them, thought the dog. They think that with nothing to see, and nothing to play with I’ll be easier to deal with.

“So, Butch has problems you say?” Ramsdale said, grabbing the stool and placing it several feet in front of Butch.

“Yep, he does,” said the man. “Can you teach him to obey me?”

“That’s why we’re here,” Ramsdale replied, staring at Butch.

Butch was still standing, as he stared back at Ramsdale. I’m not going to be pushed around and taught anything by you, he thought. Ramsdale was gazing into his eyes, doing initial eye-contact procedure, a routine action that set the tone for her dog psychology sessions.

By the look in Butch’s eyes Ramsdale thought she was on to something. Butch had that typical look, which so many misunderstood dogs had. Most people didn’t understand, they thought it meant that the dog was a dangerous killer, but Ramsdale knew better. She knew that in his dog heart Butch was crying out for love and understanding. She knew too that the man didn’t understand this either.

“Hello, Butch,” she said, softly.

Butch just stared at her. The hair on his back was beginning to rise.

“See,” said the man. “He doesn’t like you, I can tell.”

“Oh, he’s just a sweetheart, really,” said Ramsdale, as she stared deep into Butch’s eyes. Eyes which were getting wider and fiercer by the second.

Ramsdale stood up and looked down at Butch, giving him a dominating look.

“OK, I think I can work with him,” she said to the man. “I’ll have to be alone with him though. Why don’t you come back in an hour?”

The man stood up, still firmly holding Butch on the leash. He handed the leash to Ramsdale.

“I’ll be back,” he said, and promptly left the room, slamming the door behind him. He liked slamming doors too.

Ramsdale stood there alone with Butch, who had turned to the door to follow the man. She pulled him up and his paws scratched uselessly on the slick floor.

When the door was closed Ramsdale reached down and unhooked the leash from Butch’s collar. Butch rushed to the door, sniffing and scratching it frantically. Ramsdale sat on the stool and waited. Butch tired of this after some time, and started to sniff around the room. After he had discovered all the smells, and had found nothing to chew or play with, Butch circled around and dropped to the floor. His tongue came out and he lay there staring into space.

“Butch,” said Ramsdale.

The dog didn’t respond. She repeated this, to no avail. She circled him as he lay on the floor, watching his reaction. There was none. After some time trying to get his attention Ramsdale sat on her stool in front of the dog, and looked at it.

“I want you to know that I understand you,” she said. “I know that you want to be a good dog.”

You don’t know shit, thought Butch as he stared at the wall. Ramsdale reached down and grabbed Butch by the collar. Taking a firm grip she began to pull the dog up from the floor, but he was very heavy. Unable to budge him, Ramsdale straddled the dog and began to tug with both arms. Butch lay still, as if playing dead. His thick neck could take a great deal of strain before he would respond. With a huge effort Ramsdale managed to lift Butch high enough that the dog became uncomfortable and stood up on its own accord.

“Ah,” sighed Ramsdale. “There we go.” She let go of the collar and Butch wandered over to the door again. Ramsdale slapped her palm on her knee to get Butch’s attention. “Butch, come here boy,” she said.

Butch wandered over to the opposite side of the room, sniffing the floor. Other dogs had been here before. He could smell at least 30 of them. One in particular had been very frightened, he could sense the fear in the scent left behind. He even knew it was a dachshund.

Ramsdale stood up and walked over to Butch, snapping his leash on. Then she pulled him over to the stool, where she sat.

“Now Butch, I want you to sit when I speak,” she said. With this she stood up and pulled back on the leash while pushing down on Butch’s hind quarters.

Butch sank his butt on the floor and looked at Ramsdale.

“Good boy,” she said, handing him a piece of cheese that she kept in a pouch tied around her waist.

Butch swallowed it without even chewing it once. He looked at her, thinking; who thinks they can change my behaviour with a morsel of cheese? Bring on the steak!

She sat down again and looked at him.

“Give me your paw,” she said, reaching down to grab his leg. She pulled on it and Butch let her lift it up. She dropped it and pulled out more cheese. Butch snarfed it up again. Then she stood up and yanked his leash. “Up,” she said. Butch sat there. What is this, he thought? First you want me to sit, now to get up. Make up your mind.

She stood beside him and started to pull him around in tight circles within the room. He scrambled along beside her as she led him first one way, and then the other. After a few minutes of this she stopped and said, “Sit” again.

Butch sat down this time, and out came a piece of cheese. “Good boy,” she said, giving his head a rub. A few more pieces of cheese later there was a thumping sound. Ramsdale left the room for a minute and returned with the man.

“He’s been such a good boy,” she said. “I think we made some progress today.”

“Thanks,” said the man, handing her a cheque for $150.

“See you next week,” said Ramsdale.

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Filed under Animal psychology, Books and Short Stories, Photography

Merry Happy Season

Gnomes or elves - what's the difference?

Gnomes or elves – what’s the difference?

Merry Christmas, & Happy New Year from Bienstock, Einstein & George!

Relaxing in an undisclosed location, after a strenuous month of gift wrapping at the North Pole.

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The Lake in Winter

Perplexed Duck

Perplexed Duck

The Lake in Winter

winter weather is here

the lake has a frozen crust

ducks stand around perplexed by solid water

they peck at the ice as if expecting food

they shuffle about like old people

wearing slipper socks on a slippery floor

but they don’t fall, and if they do

they have not far to go

we stood and watched them,

glowing in the brilliant sunlight

then started to walk away and they scattered suddenly

for no apparent reason but then two eagles cruised by

looking for ducks perhaps, or maybe not

surely it would have been so easy to swoop down and grab one

next a river otter hiding beneath the dock

where there was no ice

came out briefly chewing on something we couldn’t see

before it went back into hiding

now a hawk, a large red tail

harassed by crows it leaves its high perch

leisurely sails away, regal, nonplussed by its pursuers

it soon disappears like the otter, but into the sky

quite frozen we turn towards home now

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when we find a skull hung from a branch by the path

a cow we assume, whence it came a mystery

no cows here for decades yet there it hangs

like a relic from the desert

we examine and leave it there

looking up we see the eagle swirling about

riding the updraft or merely the wind

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it circles several times then heads away

towards a perch atop a tall tree,

coming to rest seemingly implacable

the master of all beneath its imperious gaze

it hardly bothers to see us as we walk by

no doubt it paid us no heed

though we looked up and admired it with looks that said

we hold you in awe and though we do not scatter when you come

we are grateful you deign not attack us

a natural fact of which we are secretly worried

lest it not be an infallible truth

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