Category Archives: Books and Short Stories

Na No No Vember

1-NaNo-2015-Winner-Banner

Historically speaking I’ve always hated November. Everything seems to go poof and all at once it’s dark, cold, and generally cheerless. But NaNoWriMo came to the rescue. It gave me a reason to live in November! All I can say now is TGIO. I won, as they keep reminding me, by the mere fact of having written 50,000 words that will one day, with editing, be a novel. A short novel, to be sure. I do marvel at how they came up with 50,000 words, which if you are quick at mental arithmetic you will know requires 1667 words per day for 30 days. It just so happens that 50k is a magic number, at least for me, and I’ve now done it five times, so I can say that it has repeatable results. Is this statistically valid? Well it’s probably as good as most political polls these days.

Every time, as November wears on it always seems that the story I’m working on gets wrapped up around that magic number of 50k. Most novels are longer; that is my observation, but I presume they took longer to write. I’d heard that there are authors that write 200 words a day. And some that write a huge book in a month, a short one in a week. I guess these are the exceptions, based entirely on unfounded suppositions!

But my point is that having such a project, and it is all consuming, during this otherwise awful month makes November a little brighter, a little lighter, and a lot less depressing. Salutations to all of you who have tried, succeeded or failed. Rest assured that your book will probably not be read by more than five people, but so what? As the NaNoWriMo Pep talks constantly remind us, writing a book is an achievement to be proud of. Who knows why, but that’s what they say. I find it fun, especially now that it’s over.

On to more interesting things, like ducks.

On the 29th I was out for another walk around the pond. I have to admit that November has had more than its fair share of sun this year, so it wasn’t quite as detestable as some years. I was snapping away at birds, as you can see here:

Canada Geese

Canada Geese, eh

some sort of Wren

Bewick’s Wren afaik

my friend Flicker

my friend Flicker

Tommy Towhee

Tommy Towhee

Mildred, Gus and Corporal Cormorant

Gus, Mildred and Corporal Cormorant

Murray the Hooded Merganser

Murray the Hooded Merganser

Nothing rare or terribly exciting here, just the usual crowd. Until I spotted something that was definitely different:

what the??

what the??

It began to swim my way, and I shot a lot of pictures.

what is this?

what is this?

Not something we see every day. In fact we never see this. I didn’t know what it was, except I bet it was a duck. It is a duck. It’s a Muscovy Duck in fact. A Barbary Duck even. But where it came from I have no clue. Maybe it flew in from Mexico, where it occurs in the wild, or escaped from a farm? I doubt I’ll ever see it again, but who can say. Maybe it will stay here for a while, in which case I’ll be posting more pictures.

Muscovy Duck

Muscovy Duck

Let's call it Juan - we live on the Juan de Fuca Strait

Let’s call it Juan – we live on the Juan de Fuca Strait. Or is she Juanita?

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November Approaches

Thinking about NaNoWriMo again.

Gone in one day

Gone in one day

1-oct 27 2015001

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My Book Launch

GAME OF HEARTS COVER - EPUB2

This novel, my fifth, was written last year. I’ve been editing it for some time, adding illustrations and generally fussing over every word, paragraph, chapter and punctuation mark. But every writer must eventually declare an end to a project, and thus I have declared mine. The general consensus (a few readers) was that this story was engaging enough to read in one go; thus I’m going with it first. There are others which are also ready to go, but one has to start somewhere. I suggest having a look at the Kindle site, where you can read a good amount of the story and see if you like it. Then perhaps you’ll be compelled to buy one version or another. That I admit, is my hope.

The paperback (illustrated with 42 sketches) at Amazon.com here

and e-book for

Kindle

SHORT BLURB

The lives of two young couples are intertwined when on the night of a full moon Helen and Joan, strangers, arrive at hospital where each gives birth to a son. Some years later, Joan meets Helen’s husband George, who ignites her desire for passion. They discover the connection of their sons’ common birthday, but there the similarity ends. One boy is an ideal child, the other a holy terror. Joan and George become lovers, each filling a hole in the life of the other. But all the while Joan’s son Johnny is going from bad to worse, until one day a tragedy strikes at both families. When Joan’s husband Larry gets a heart transplant he discovers a mysterious connection with the donor that he takes to his grave, until the day Helen finds a strange letter.

EXCERPT

Larry opened the door and went in. Johnny was lying on his bed reading a car magazine he’d stolen from the corner store.
“If you’ve been taking my car I want it to stop,” said Larry, not bothering to ask if it was so. He assumed it was true, since he had every reason to trust the source.
“Sorry, Dad. I only took it around the block, once.”
“OK, but don’t do it again. If you get caught we’ll be in a lot of trouble. And my insurance won’t help if you get in any kind of accident. If you were injured the insurance wouldn’t pay, and if you injured someone else, I’d be sued. This family would be ruined financially.”
He didn’t bother to say that in his mind they were already ruined in every other way.
“Dad, I don’t steal your car, OK?”
From that moment on Larry decided to hide his keys just in case. But Johnny already had his own copy. He took the car over to Bruce’s house the very next day, and he was in a foul humour.
Mickey and Keith were there, and they were rolling joints. Johnny walked right over to Mickey who had the paper between his fingers, rolling it into a neat cylinder.
“You asshole,” Johnny said, swiping at Mickey’s hands, sending the half rolled joint flying. “You had to tell everyone I had the car?”
Mickey stood up and Johnny swung at him, landing a punch on Mickey’s head. Mickey swung back and hit Johnny square on the cheek. Then they grappled and fell to the floor. Keith and Bruce pulled them apart.
“I didn’t tell anyone,” said Mickey. “Don’t lay it on me.”
“Bull shit. Your father told my old lady,” Johnny spat out.
Mickey hung his head and put his hand up to his brow.
“Oh fuck,” he said. “I never thought it would go anywhere. I only told my mother that I saw you again, that’s all. I had no idea it would get back to your parents.”
“Are you that naive, doofus?”
“Sorry, lay off alright? It was a mistake.”
“Doesn’t matter. My old man hid his keys, but I made my own!”
“Let’s go for a burn,” said Bruce.
“I need a joint first,” said Johnny.
“Have the one you knocked on the floor,” said Mickey. “We already smoked the rest.”
Johnny got down on his knees and retrieved the joint from under a chair. Mickey tossed him a pack of matches.
“That’s better,” said Johnny, taking a drag. He looked at Mickey, who had a dark bruise on his face. “Sorry about that, Mick.”
Mickey looked up at Johnny, who also had a welt on his cheek. Then he began to laugh.
“Jesus, you have a wicked temper,” he said.
“Got it from my mother,” said Johnny.
“You don’t know my mother,” said Mickey. “She blew her top today.”
“My mother’s a worse bitch than yours, I bet you,” said Johnny.
“Yeah, but she’s never around to tell you what to do all the time is she?”
“Naw, she’s working or getting drunk with her boyfriend.”
“How do you know what she’s doing?” Mickey asked. “Do you follow her?”
“No, but I can put two and two together. She’s got some guy on the side, I can tell. And my old man knows too, I bet. Only he’s too tired to do anything about it.”
“Is that why he doesn’t bother to stop you from taking his car?”
“You got it.”
“I wouldn’t take my Dad’s car,” said Mickey. “He’d kill me.”
“Your Dad’s cool,” said Johnny. “Doesn’t he have an old MG?”
“Yeah, it’s at my Grandma’s. He’s always there working on it.”
“Let’s go have a look,” said Johnny.
“OK,” Mickey said. “My Grandma won’t care.”
They piled into Larry’s car and headed off to Mickey’s grandmother’s house. They didn’t know that George and Joan were also on their way.
The boys arrived first. Johnny parked right in front of the house, and they all waited while Mickey went inside. A few minutes later the garage door opened to reveal Mickey and the MG. Everyone piled out of the car and walked into the garage.
“This is so cool,” said Bruce. “Do you know how to drive it?”
“I can’t drive,” said Mickey. “Anyways, it’s a standard.”
“I bet I can drive it,” said Johnny. “What do you say we take it out for a spin?”
“If my Dad finds out I’m a dead duck,” said Mickey.
“He’s at work, how’s he going to know?” said Johnny. “Are you chicken?”
That was it for Mickey. Johnny already thought he was a naive doofus, but to be called a chicken, even by implication, was too much.
“No, I’m not chicken, I just don’t know how to drive it, that’s all,” he said. “If you can drive it we’ll take it out. But just around the block, OK?”
“Fine with me, where’re the keys?”
“They’re always in the car,” said Mickey, opening the door. “Yep, they’re here.”
Bruce crawled into the empty space behind the seats, and Mickey got in the passenger seat. Johnny started it up. It idled away spewing smoke for several minutes until it was warm, then he put it into reverse. He didn’t really know how it worked but he had some notion of what a clutch was. He let it out and the car stalled.
He tried again. This time he gave it more gas and they shot backwards out the door and halfway down the driveway before Johnny stepped on the brakes and stalled the car again.
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Mickey asked. He was beginning to regret this.
“Yeah, I know. It takes a little getting used to, that’s all,” Johnny replied.
He started the car again and gave it some gas. Just then George pulled up.
“Oh shit,” said Mickey. “Just say we were only taking it out of the garage to hear the motor,” said Mickey.
George saw the boys in the car and guessed what was going on. He wanted to get out and give Mickey a piece of his mind, but he knew that Joan might show at any moment. He was frozen. Then he had an idea. He jumped out of the car and hurried over to the MG. Mickey was getting out with a look of fear on his face.
But George wasn’t looking angry. In fact he was smiling, and looked like he was ready to apologize to Mickey. This was weird.
“Sorry Dad, I was just showing off the car. We took it out to have a look in the daylight. I’ll put it right back.”
“No problem,” said George. “Does Johnny know how to drive it?”
“Yeah, he says he does,” Mickey replied. “We weren’t going to drive it.”
“Take it for a spin,” said George. “But just be careful, OK? Go slow and don’t run any stop signs.”
“Really?” said Mickey, aghast.
“Really. Go on, be quick. Ten minutes, no more, alright?”
“Sure, thanks Dad,” said Mickey, getting back in the car.
“What did he say?” Johnny asked. “Are you in shit?”
“No, he said we can go for a ten minute drive.”
“Are you kidding? Does he know I don’t have my license?”
“No, I didn’t bring that up. Come on; let’s just go before he changes his mind.”
“Alright,” said Johnny. “Your Dad is totally awesome man.”

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Johnny backed out to the street and stalled the car again. George was standing there watching, looking very anxiously down the street for Joan. Then Johnny got the car going and they chugged away and turned the corner. The car jerked and sputtered as Johnny mishandled the clutch, but it kept rolling, and they drove out of sight. George nearly fainted.
George checked his watch, standing at the curb looking up and down the street. Five minutes passed and he was ready to panic. He checked his watch again. Seven minutes had passed since the boys had driven off. Where was Joan? He should have told them to go for an hour, but he was afraid they’d get into trouble if they were gone that long.
Ten minutes had passed and Joan still hadn’t shown up. George looked at his watch. His heart was pounding, and he took a deep breath. Then he saw her car coming around the corner. He began to run up the block towards her, waving his arms. She pulled up beside him and rolled down the window, looking perturbed.
“George, what’s the matter?” she said.
“No time to explain,” he said. “Just get out of here fast. I’ll explain later.”
“You want me to leave?” she said, looking very annoyed.
“Yes, go, just go. I’ll call you later,” he pleaded, waving his head like a crazy puppet.
Joan looked at him like he was insane, and raised her hands in disbelief. George was almost frantic.
“Go, now,” he said, waving his arms, his eyes almost popping out of his head.
From the look on his face Joan guessed he was very serious. She drove away, too slowly for George’s liking, and he watched her go, holding his breath. He checked his watch as she drove out of sight. When she was gone he heaved an enormous sigh.
Joan got as far as the corner when it dawned on her that Larry’s car was parked in front of George’s mother’s house. She also remembered that the garage door was open, and the MG wasn’t there. Her eyes grew wide and her hands started to sweat. Then, away down the street she saw it; the MG was coming towards her. She turned into the first driveway she saw and pulled up to the house. A woman was in her front yard, carrying a pail and a garden rake. Joan smiled at her, and watched the rear view mirror.
The MG went by, and Joan rolled down the window as the woman came over towards her.
“I’m looking for the Jones’s house,” she said. “I think I have the wrong address.”
“Nora Jones lives down the block that way,” said the woman. “I don’t know her number, but it’s the place with the green garage door.”
“Thanks,” said Joan, putting the car in reverse.
She backed out onto the street, and drove away in the wrong direction, as the woman with the pail stood watching and wondering what that was all about.

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The Golden Barrel

The Colonel examines the barrel

The Colonel examines the barrel

The day was unbearably hot in the prison camp where Lt. Smedley Hoskin-Smythe was interned. Men all around had collapsed in the heat, from both exhaustion and dehydration. And then there was the curse of scurvy to boot. Scarcely a man hadn’t lost his teeth, nor escaped the swollen joints, the severe pain of bruises and swellings all over their bodies. Smedley could hardly stand to look at them, he felt so disgusted, but since he was the only one with some skill as a dentist, he was forced to have to remove rotting loose teeth almost daily.

There was one good side to all this, however, which was that he had amassed a small fortune in gold from the fillings. No one thought to ask him for their teeth back after an extraction. They were much too weak to even care. But Smedley cared. He had hidden the gold under the floor of his cabin, where for two years it had been slowly accumulating until now it was worth more than enough to buy his way out of this hell-hole. The day had come, and Smedley carefully packed the gold into his only sock that hadn’t a large hole in it, and approached the guard with whom he had established some sort of thief’s rapport. When he was sure no one was watching, Smedley handed over the sock. The guard gave him a nod and disappeared.

The following morning when role call was done, it was discovered that Smedley was missing. Questions were asked and every shack was searched, but it was too late. Smedley was in the back of a truck heading for the border. But he had not entirely forgotten his mates, for the following day the prisoners were amazed when several large wooden barrels were delivered addressed to Colonel Hedley Fish-Brown, ranking officer of the prisoners.

The Colonel inspected the barrels in a complete quandary as to the contents. Why would their captors do this? Or if not them, then from whom did it come? And what was inside in the first place? All these questions whirled through the minds of the men who set about to open the barrels. Hedley Fish-Brown lorded over the process, being sure to remain a little distance away just in case there was a trick. He feared the barrels might explode, or perhaps release some deadly gas when opened. He backed to the door, and prepared to run should things go wrong, as the men were about to release the first barrel’s lid.

Off it came with a great sucking sound, and the air was filled with a smell that was at once sharp and yet mouth watering. Hedley knew that smell – he rushed over and pushed the men aside to have a good look. One man already had his mouth full of it as Hedley looked at the open barrel and then at the man. His eyes grew large and he felt his mouth begin to drool with saliva so that he could hardly stop from thrusting his hand in and grabbing some for himself. But he controlled this urge and instead ordered the lid be replaced. Then he turned to the assembled crowd outside and cleared his throat.

“Lads,” he proclaimed loudly, “It seems we’ve got here what I can only describe as a filthy German joke. They’ve given us five hundred pounds of sauerkraut.”

“But beg pardon Colonel,” said a voice from the crowd. “Don’t sauerkraut have vitamin C in it Sir?”

“It’s the cure for scurvy,” said another.

“I’ll eat it,” piped up another man.

“Suit yourselves then,” said Fish-Brown and with a wave of his hand he commanded the assembled crowd to part as he left and returned to his hut.

That evening after finishing dinner, the officers sat around discussing the events of the day, and specifically the barrels of sauerkraut.

“I don’t think it was a joke,” said Major Dashwood-Humberthorpe. “My Grandfather used to say that sauerkraut was the best thing to prevent scurvy, and he should have known, he was in the Royal Navy for forty years.”

“Funny how this arrived the day after old Smedley vanished,” interjected Lt. Washburn-Downs. “Seems to me I heard him say the same thing about his Granddad, once.”

“Rubbish,” retorted the colonel, rubbing his face. “This bloody tooth is killing me, I say, do any of you chaps know anything about dentistry?”

“Let’s have a look then,” said Captain Peabody-Parson. “If Smedley could do it I expect it can’t be all that difficult.”

The colonel opened his mouth and Peabody- Parson peered in. There was a large gold filling, which the colonel pointed to. “That one,” he said.

Suddenly it all became very clear to Captain Peabody-Parson. He went to Smedley’s bunk and opened the trunk that Smedley had used. There were the dentistry tools. The following day Peabody-Parson extracted the gold tooth from Colonel Fish-Brown’s jaw. Placing it in his best intact sock he hid it under the floor of his hut. Oddly, as soon as a certain guard heard that Peabody-Parson was the new dentist, the Captain was called aside and an agreement made.

“One question,” said Peabody-Parson. “Was it Smedley who sent that sauerkraut?”

The guard just smiled and said, “We Germans rarely get scurvy.”

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A Very Short Graphic Mystery Tale

1-boris sees jerry at stn

It was another hot and humid day in Delhi, as a desperate and evil fiend watched the man buying a ticket, unaware he was being followed.

 

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The Huns are Back

We could use a laugh around here today… this is a storyline I’ve been using for my kids bedtime stories going on 30 years. This one is new, I wrote it for our annual camping trip. This is the first time I’ve illustrated a story.1-IMGP2158

PRINCE RHINESTONE AND THE HUN

By Donald J. Nathan
©2014
When Prince Rhinestone returned home after some years of fighting Huns, he had grown several inches, and needed new armour.
He paid a visit to his armourer, Sir Breakwind, to be fitted for a new suit, along with a matching sword. When he walked into the workshop, however, he was surprised to find that Sir Breakwind had gone out of business, and found himself smack in the middle of an auction sale.
“I say,” said Prince Rhinestone to no one in particular, “I say, what is going on? Where is Sir Breakwind and why isn’t he here? I want a new suit, and a matching sword!”
There were chuckles from the crowd and Prince Rhinestone looked around vexedly.
“Sold for thirty seven shillings to the man in the green pants,” said the auctioneer, slamming his gavel with a bang.
A short man came waddling up from the back of the room to the clerk and pulled out some coins from his purse. He dropped them on the desk, picked up a box of chain mail and turned to leave. Prince Rhinestone followed him out the door and hurried to catch up.
“Excuse me my good sir,” he said, tapping the man on the shoulder, “would you be so kind as to tell me what exactly is going on here?”
The man looked up at the Prince.
“Sir Breakwind, he’s gone out of business, your Highness. It’s a shame I say, but what can be done I asks you, Sir? It’s that new cheap imported armor what done it. Old Breakwind, he couldn’t compete with it, no Sir. Shame I say, damned shame.”
“Thank you my good man,” said Rhinestone, bowing ever so slightly, “and where does one find this new armor I pray?”
The man nodded his head to the side – “down that street, and round the corner in Highcastle, that new shopping street.”
“Never heard of such a thing,” said Rhinestone, walking away.
On his way down the street he noticed that many old shops he’d once frequented were gone, boarded up, with For Rent signs nailed to the doors. In all his life he’d never seen such a thing, and he was sorely puzzled.
When Rhinestone turned the corner onto Highcastle Lane his puzzlement turned to surprise to see a great crowd milling around. There were great heaping piles of goods for sale, and posters with words like “New and Improved”, or “Price Reduction”.
But there were no shopkeepers to be seen, only clerks sitting at desks taking money from people lined up with armfuls of goods. Noticing a large sign hanging from the ceiling with the word “WEAPONRY”, the prince worked his way through the crowds. There a young boy was arranging maces in a neat pile.
“Where is the armourer?” asked the prince.
The boy looked at him with a vacant stare.
“The what?” he replied.
“Never mind,” said Rhinestone, picking up a mace and swinging it around. “How much does this cost?”
“One shilling,” said the boy, “but if you buy one you can get another for half price.”
Rhinestone frowned. “Why would I need two?”
“I dunno,” said the boy, “everyone buys two.”
Rhinestone pulled out a shilling and handed it to the boy.
“I’ll just take one, thank you.”
“You have to pay the clerk,” said the boy, pointing to the lineup.
Rhinestone pulled out another penny from his purse and gave it to the boy.
“Here, you go pay for me,” he said, and turned to go.
“You can’t do that here,” said the boy, handing back the money, “you have to pay the clerk, that’s how it’s done.”
Rhinestone took his money and walked to the back of the line that said “EXPRESS – MAXIMUM FIFTY ITEMS”. An hour later he paid for his new mace and walked out of the store onto the street.
As he turned the corner an armed and dangerous looking Hun appeared right in front of him. He was huge, with great big blue eyes and a hooked nose.
“Take that,” said Prince Rhinestone, smashing the Hun with his new mace.
The mace gave a great clang, bounced off the Hun’s head and snapped in half. The Hun glared at Rhinestone for a moment and began to laugh.
“I bet you that was a cheap imported mace,” he roared.
Rhinestone looked at the broken handle of the mace in his hand, and nodded.
“Yes it was,” he said, disgustedly, “buy one and get a second one for half price.”
“You should have bought a second one, you fool,” said the Hun taking a swipe at Rhinestone with his sword.
Expecting such a response Prince Rhinestone ducked, but the Hun’s sword cut the head off an innocent bystander who had been hurrying by. It was the man who’d bought the box of chain mail. Rhinestone picked up the chain mail from the box and held it up to show the Hun.
“If he’d only been wearing this it might have saved him,” said Rhinestone.
“Serves him right,” said the Hun, “the world is going for shite with all this cheap imported crap.”
“That’s a good sharp sword,” said Rhinestone, “where did you get it?”
“Japanese,” said the Hun. “Took it from a dead Samurai. I’ve beheaded hundreds with this and it’s still sharp.”
“Thanks for the tip,” said Prince Rhinestone, “but I think I’ll stick to my sword. It’s Italian.”
“Hmmph,” the Hun grunted, “didn’t help those Romans, but too bad about that fellow. I don’t usually do that.”
“Hey, no hard feelings,” said Rhinestone. “Let’s go have a beer, my treat – what do you like?”
“If it’s cold I’ll drink it,” said the Hun. “Can you get a good Hefeweizen in this town?

THE END

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Dog Psychology

IMG_1695

Ramsdale & Fairfax, Psychologists, read the sign on the fence.

“Come on Butch,” said the man to his pit bull, as they walked across the grass to the door that said Office. “Sit,” said the man to the dog, but the dog wasn’t paying attention. It pulled on the heavy leash, and the choker tightened on its throat. The man gave a vicious heave and pulled the big dog back. He clouted it with his hand on the back of its head. “Sit, I said,” he shouted sternly. The dog stood still. The man thumped on the door with his fist, even though there was a doorbell. He didn’t like doorbells; they were for sissies he thought. He enjoyed pounding on things with his fist anyhow.

The door opened to reveal a friendly petite woman with a head of curly blondish hair. She peered up at the man, who was well over a foot taller than her. Her first instinct was to slam the door and run for help, but she was a psychologist, so she quickly suppressed her gut reaction and assessed the situation.

“Come in,” she said. “You’re right on time. This must be Butch.”

“Yeah, this is Butch,” said the man. “He’s all fucked up, pardon my French.” He laughed at his joke. Dr. Ramsdale laughed too, although she didn’t find the remark funny. She just knew how to deal with people.

She led them into an inner room that was barren of furniture. The floor was shiny and slick grey linoleum, the walls painted glossy white. Along one wall was a slab of wood on steel brackets that served as the sole seating. In the corner was a short wooden stool.

“Please sit down,” Ramsdale said, pointing to the bench.

The man sat down, holding onto the dog. The dog looked around the room with a scared expression. This must be the torture chamber, thought the dog. The dog could read minds, and it knew that this was not a romper room. There were no chew toys, nothing to bite, and little distractions. The dog was well aware of what sensory deprivation was for. They want me to pay attention to them, thought the dog. They think that with nothing to see, and nothing to play with I’ll be easier to deal with.

“So, Butch has problems you say?” Ramsdale said, grabbing the stool and placing it several feet in front of Butch.

“Yep, he does,” said the man. “Can you teach him to obey me?”

“That’s why we’re here,” Ramsdale replied, staring at Butch.

Butch was still standing, as he stared back at Ramsdale. I’m not going to be pushed around and taught anything by you, he thought. Ramsdale was gazing into his eyes, doing initial eye-contact procedure, a routine action that set the tone for her dog psychology sessions.

By the look in Butch’s eyes Ramsdale thought she was on to something. Butch had that typical look, which so many misunderstood dogs had. Most people didn’t understand, they thought it meant that the dog was a dangerous killer, but Ramsdale knew better. She knew that in his dog heart Butch was crying out for love and understanding. She knew too that the man didn’t understand this either.

“Hello, Butch,” she said, softly.

Butch just stared at her. The hair on his back was beginning to rise.

“See,” said the man. “He doesn’t like you, I can tell.”

“Oh, he’s just a sweetheart, really,” said Ramsdale, as she stared deep into Butch’s eyes. Eyes which were getting wider and fiercer by the second.

Ramsdale stood up and looked down at Butch, giving him a dominating look.

“OK, I think I can work with him,” she said to the man. “I’ll have to be alone with him though. Why don’t you come back in an hour?”

The man stood up, still firmly holding Butch on the leash. He handed the leash to Ramsdale.

“I’ll be back,” he said, and promptly left the room, slamming the door behind him. He liked slamming doors too.

Ramsdale stood there alone with Butch, who had turned to the door to follow the man. She pulled him up and his paws scratched uselessly on the slick floor.

When the door was closed Ramsdale reached down and unhooked the leash from Butch’s collar. Butch rushed to the door, sniffing and scratching it frantically. Ramsdale sat on the stool and waited. Butch tired of this after some time, and started to sniff around the room. After he had discovered all the smells, and had found nothing to chew or play with, Butch circled around and dropped to the floor. His tongue came out and he lay there staring into space.

“Butch,” said Ramsdale.

The dog didn’t respond. She repeated this, to no avail. She circled him as he lay on the floor, watching his reaction. There was none. After some time trying to get his attention Ramsdale sat on her stool in front of the dog, and looked at it.

“I want you to know that I understand you,” she said. “I know that you want to be a good dog.”

You don’t know shit, thought Butch as he stared at the wall. Ramsdale reached down and grabbed Butch by the collar. Taking a firm grip she began to pull the dog up from the floor, but he was very heavy. Unable to budge him, Ramsdale straddled the dog and began to tug with both arms. Butch lay still, as if playing dead. His thick neck could take a great deal of strain before he would respond. With a huge effort Ramsdale managed to lift Butch high enough that the dog became uncomfortable and stood up on its own accord.

“Ah,” sighed Ramsdale. “There we go.” She let go of the collar and Butch wandered over to the door again. Ramsdale slapped her palm on her knee to get Butch’s attention. “Butch, come here boy,” she said.

Butch wandered over to the opposite side of the room, sniffing the floor. Other dogs had been here before. He could smell at least 30 of them. One in particular had been very frightened, he could sense the fear in the scent left behind. He even knew it was a dachshund.

Ramsdale stood up and walked over to Butch, snapping his leash on. Then she pulled him over to the stool, where she sat.

“Now Butch, I want you to sit when I speak,” she said. With this she stood up and pulled back on the leash while pushing down on Butch’s hind quarters.

Butch sank his butt on the floor and looked at Ramsdale.

“Good boy,” she said, handing him a piece of cheese that she kept in a pouch tied around her waist.

Butch swallowed it without even chewing it once. He looked at her, thinking; who thinks they can change my behaviour with a morsel of cheese? Bring on the steak!

She sat down again and looked at him.

“Give me your paw,” she said, reaching down to grab his leg. She pulled on it and Butch let her lift it up. She dropped it and pulled out more cheese. Butch snarfed it up again. Then she stood up and yanked his leash. “Up,” she said. Butch sat there. What is this, he thought? First you want me to sit, now to get up. Make up your mind.

She stood beside him and started to pull him around in tight circles within the room. He scrambled along beside her as she led him first one way, and then the other. After a few minutes of this she stopped and said, “Sit” again.

Butch sat down this time, and out came a piece of cheese. “Good boy,” she said, giving his head a rub. A few more pieces of cheese later there was a thumping sound. Ramsdale left the room for a minute and returned with the man.

“He’s been such a good boy,” she said. “I think we made some progress today.”

“Thanks,” said the man, handing her a cheque for $150.

“See you next week,” said Ramsdale.

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Nanowrimo

nanowrimo typing frenzy

nanowrimo typing frenzy

 

Hardly any time to blog, November, Nanowrimo, madly writing novel on typewriters, using every typewriter I own with few exceptions, now convinced of superiority of Hermes Baby, surpassed only by Adler Tippa late model Dutch made types with so little effort, but still drawn to Hermes and Hermes clones such as Olivetti Tropical, Silver Seiko, all alike, how did those Japanese get away with this copy, don’t care, smells like cigarettes, noisy but works flawlessly typical Japanese machine no, again Hermes Baby, seafoam green, all plastic so what works great, must get back to typing now, see you in December, 30,000 words done, 20,000 more to go, story not even close to being finished what do I do, will have to keep going or else cut the plot short, not enough time..

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Extra-solar Space Frogs

wood frog

“Beer” the frozen space frog

Beer in space

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Meet Me at Mt Royal & Drolet

1-carters ink carbon paper1-img404

Smith Corona Sterling 1947

Smith Corona Sterling 1947

Remington Portable 2 1926

Remington Portable 2 1926

McCormick sold this business to my father

McCormick sold this business to my father

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Filed under Books and Short Stories, Typewriters