In That Case!

On my way out one evening last week I looked in the rear view mirror and what did I see, but one of these! A rare and famed Mercedes 300SL. I wished I could have followed the car but it turned off and was gone. I’ve only ever seen one of these in the wild before, and that was decades ago in Montreal, where the German owner of a local gas station owned one. I can still recall the growl the engine made as the owner roared off in it. Other than that I’ve seen a few here and there, but always in a showroom, never on the road. So the mystery remains as to whose car that was.

Coincidentally, I picked up a fairly rare and famed typewriter last week, and the case reminded me of the car.

Now what does this have to do with that? Maybe nothing! But it struck me that the styling of the case of this typewriter, the 1956 Olympia SM3, was very similar to the style of the Mercedes 300SL of the same era. In any “case”, this particular case didn’t last long because the next version of the SM, #4, had a new box shaped case and that was the end of the “300SL” case, as far as I know. So, make your own mind up about whether or not the typewriter case was inspired by the car or not, but it sure seems suspicious to me. Here’s a front view of the car:

Now do you believe it? Can there be any other explanation? Well, here are some pics of the typewriter that was in the case. It’s a 1956, as I said, and a prime example of good typewriter design, but for the fact that the rubber they used on the platen is invariably rock hard. Why Olympia didn’t use better rubber is puzzling, because Remingtons of 1956 have soft platens even today. I know because I own one and the platen rubber is as soft as a new one. By putting two sheets of heavy paper in the roller, the noise of the slugs hitting the paper is significantly reduced, but the slugs still emboss the paper right through two sheets! As far as ease of use goes, I say this is the best machine ever made by Olympia, surpassing the much praised SM9. If I owned a 300SL I would keep a matching SM3 handy in the trunk as I drove around from cafe to cafe, writing my next novel.

This one came from New York City all the way over to the West Coast of Canada, where it had several owners, one presumes, since I got it from a young woman who bought it used when she was in high school. She didn’t say who owned it previously, but it was an American import according to the plate fixed to the back of it, and of course the vendor label shows the store where it was sold in New York.

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Filed under Technology, Typewriters, Uncategorized, Vintage cars

The Smarter Watch ™

A recently released report from STU (South Timbuktu University) had the medical world buzzing with excitement. Researchers in the PI (Purposeless Inquiry) Department claimed to have designed and tested an advanced type of ‘Smarter’ wrist device that utilized Artificial Intelligence to outperform all others and featured a built-in lie detector. However, the excitement arose when the device advised a Beta tester that they had prostate cancer, a function the watch was not designed to do.

The tester immediately went to a hospital where they were rudely informed that this was not scientifically possible in a person who lacked male organs, and were sent away with a measure of scorn and derision leaving them seriously scarred.

The following week the would-be patient sued the hospital for $15,000,000 in damages, claiming insufferable anguish due to the humiliation of being called ‘madam’ by a male nurse with breasts. The hospital countersued for 20 million dollars claiming that the patient’s attitude to the nurse caused said nurse to have a nervous breakdown, leaving the hospital short staffed, since they were the sole qualified nurse filling that role under the rules for gender equality in transsexual nursing.

The watch was sent to a testing lab in California where it was determined that the device could cause prostate cancer in mice. With this new evidence the patient counter-counter-sued for thirty million dollars and ten cents, noting the 10 cents was symbolic of the pain and suffering of mice.

In a counter-counter-counter suit, the hospital offered to donate one hundred dollars to a mouse centered charity and to remove the patient’s prostate at no cost under the condition that they appear in a hospital sponsored TV ad for drug addiction treatment that offered one free session with a board certified beautician and a bus ticket to the next county.

The patient settled for prostate removal, along with the free beauty consultation and a bus ticket, and was able to go home immediately after surgery with their prostate in a sealed metal container marked with a warning that it had to be buried six feet underground. The “Smarter Watch ™” device was returned to STU-PID for further testing where it was determined that the lie-detection function was wired in reverse. One co-inventor stated that they were tweaking it and expected that the second generation would be more accurate.

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Filed under Artifical Intelligence, Books and Short Stories, Technology, Uncategorized, Watches

To Fix a Car

I currently own a 1997 Mercedes that I bought from an old lady ten years ago. The car has 110,000 kms on it, which is nothing for a car of this quality, or so one might assume. I figured we’d drive the car into the ground, which could take another 50 years at the rate we use it. But wait, it has now become next to impossible to find a mechanic willing and able to work on that “old” model of Mercedes. One mechanic advised me to scrap the car. Mechanics say this is an old car, but I suspect that the problem is that they have been trained to repair modern cars, which requires the reading of codes to diagnose problems, as opposed to the days when a mechanic had to actually think. The job of a mechanic used to require problem solving, which modern training seems to have rendered obsolete. Truly a metaphor for the modern age!

1973 MGB – so easy to repair!

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Dusty Old Farmer

Is there such a thing as a Farmer Poet?

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RV Park, Tillamook

Dairy cows, Tillamook, Oregon

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Yellowstone Memories

1000 miles away and long ago we visited Yellowstone National Park, but the memory of the place is indelible. If it wasn’t so damned far away I’d go more often.

A genuine Yellowstone bison

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Water, Falling

Myra Falls, Strathcona Park, BC

Water, Falling is a pun that appeals to architects… Here are couple of old waterfall photos from my archives.

Niagara Fall 1961, Kodak Brownie Starmite
Yosemite Falls 1983 (a pair of architects)

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On the Road, 2023

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On the Road, 1970

Painted a couple of days ago – acrylic on 16″ x 12″ canvas board. I have a vague memory of my father painting this same scene 50 years ago. I guess he thought it was picturesque, too.

We scramble up to the top of Mt Temple and wrote our names on a slip of paper that we found inside a small metal box jammed under a rock. I took a few pictures and we left in a hurry as there was a big dark cloud coming our way.

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Hot Day at the Swimming Dock

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